What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 00:11
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
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Who then, do I blame.?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
She married twice! .
Why does the God of the Bible condemn homosexual acts?
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
As i do to all so called friends.?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Why do people believe that global warming is man made?
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Was to survive, this bastard.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Is it wise to SECRETLY expose a narcissist by telling others that he/she is a covert narcissist?
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Where are the gay people in India?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I don,t even have a pension.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
One cannot live in the past .
It was going to be , some day.
She was in good health!
What is the best/cute/funny/playful chat/conversation between brother and sister?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Comes on , in middle age.
He knew the spot.
I'm British and I hate my glasses. Are prescription glasses better in New York City?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
She loved him until the end.
Can an astrologer predict that someone is in a physical relationship before marriage?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I waited trembling.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
All the time i was locked up.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
We all went to grammer schools
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
So whats the point in blame.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
What did i know ?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I think the readers, may guess!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Why did i forgive my father ?
This is soul school!.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
My family never makes their pension either.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
He resisted the act ,that day.
(And it was in our own minds.)
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I said to her
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But it wasn’t much.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Im still living with it.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
So, i spoilt her more .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
She found it foreign!.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I write beautiful poetry .
I have no regrets .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Especially a lifetime of it.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
When she asked me how she looked .
And i lived it daily.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Put me off passion for life!!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
She wouldn,t have been !
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
But ive been too sick for many years..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I couldn’t, believe it.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I was scared of men, in general
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We were not on the streets..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Ive learnt so much.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Would this be the day?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I was 9 years of age.
But, we were locked up after school.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I will be 64.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I was very sick at this time too.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I was seconnd youngest,
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
My life is so biszare .
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.